In a strange way, Nevaeh’s death has made me a better person. She made me realize just how fragile and short life really is. She has made me strive to make myself a better person. I feel like when I am doing something in her memory, I can do anything…I can change the world.
Even though I was 25 when Nevaeh passed away, she made me mature in a way that I hadn’t yet. I really grew up. I appreciated my family more, and stressed about the little things less. I came to realize in the big scheme of things, something as simple as my lipstick looking perfect, really wasn’t important. I started to take less, and give more. I started a new relationship with God. I decided instead of being bitter and mad at him, I was going to accept he had a much bigger purpose for sending us Nevaeh for such a short time. I loved my husband more, and took him for granted less. Loosing Nevaeh strengthened our marriage and brought us to a whole new level together.
It’s important to me to do things in her memory…it’s one of the only things I can do to show my love for her now. I want people to know who she was. I want people to know how special she was to us. I want people to know how devastated we were to lose her, and how we still miss her every day. I want people to remember her. Although it was five years ago, and she was here for such a short time, I don’t want her memory to fade into thin air. I want people to realize that the pain of loosing a child is like a scar….at first it’s really raw and fresh. In time it starts to heal and fade a little bit, but it is always there. Just not as obvious as it first was.
These are all the reasons that I started Nevaeh’s Rainbow. I want her memory to live on, and help people in the process. I look forward to the month ahead of getting this project off the ground, and truly making a difference in some young mother’s life.